kathleen’s kit up!

The first glimpse of the toy box. digging in!

Well, as I wrote , our son Justin is home on leave. His children are here and when I began to hear moans of I,m booooored, I remembered a box that was sitting in our garage. I went out and got the box. “What is it?” a sullen little voice asked. “It is a toybox full of toys that were your Daddy’s when he was your age!” Suddenly interest was peaked, and the kids had a ball looking through Daddy’s strange playthings and imagining him as a little boy.

Master of the Universe toys, Ninja Turtles , many, many platoons of green plastic Army men, complete with tanks, planes and sandbags were excavated. It was good for several hours of fun.

Keeping a few things that give kids a window into the life of a parent, brings both closer. One with memories of things past, but familiar. The other with the new idea, that big strong Daddy, that brave soldier, was once a little boy too.

And it seems to me, not as distant a past as for them.

Well, we have all been beside ourselves with anticipation and the day finally arrived! Justin came home for his 15 day leave, and his little ones could hardly contain themselves! Papa (my husband ) and I (gramma) took the two grandchildren to the airport for his arrival. On the way we were asked 535 times if we were there yet. I turned to Don asking if he remembered car trips with our small children many years ago, he sort of did , but thought ours had been quieter….no, this sounds pretty familiar to me.

We had planned the big welcome thing with the banner made by Devon Victoria, but as all well laid plans, that did not happen. I had imagined a page out of our second book being true, as we would wait in the terminal with our banner unfurled waiting for him to come through the doorways, but he called and was already in Denver! No time to call and say he had gotten a flight out sooner from Dallas (not that we minded him being home four hours early!)

One part of the book was true for me though, I did cry when I saw him. You don’t really know how much those days of knowing enemies are out there planning the demise of your loved one, strains a persons resources. I, (and I think most military Families) just go on with the day to day…but the relief and joy of actually seeing my son, was more than I could suppress!

So, here we go, 15 days of being together and we will soak in every possible moment. We know he has to go back to the sands of Iraq, but we also see the end in sight…his tour (this time) is almost done. Another chapter of Army life is about to unfold, and like all good Military Families, we have no idea what is coming at us!

Thank you for your prayers for Justin and for our family, we appreciate each and every one!

Well, here is the link to our hometown newspaper article, http://www.greeleytribune.com/article/20090615/NEWS/906149986&parentprofile=search.

There Paula and I are on the front page (Paula on the left, me on the right). Though it is not explained in the article, the basket of balls are something we had made for kids to go with the second book. In the second book the father throws the ball against the wall with these words: “We bounced back last time he said with a wink, We’ll bounce back again and a again don’t you think? Our Family’s a tough squishy rubbery ball, you can’t keep us flat We bounce back, that is all!” Our balls say: Can’t keep us flat, we bounce back!”

Well, check it out, I told you we would let you know how it went!

Well, Paula and I had an interview with our local paper about We Serve Too! It was an interesting time with a very nice reporter who sat with us at the kitchen table. Paula’s cat decided that not enough attention was being paid to the house feline, and walked past the french door windows with his catch…a squirrel he had successfully hunted.

Short of that, we had a nice visit and look forward to the story coming out next week. The photographer came today to get a shot of us in the barn. This had to be a quick photography session because we were having wild weather and possible tornado in the area, which as anyone knows, is just a little more exciting than two grandmas who have written a couple of books. We understand completely, and breathed a sigh of relief, when our photographer did not fall off the table he was on to get the right angle.

Well, it has been a fun experince really, even though we have felt media shy for the last year, and so never pursued any attention. My grandson’s sweet preschool teacher Marsha, was the one who decided that we should get a little press.

We’ll let you know how it goes…we hope it will mean that more little ones will get a book to help the lonely days of deployment and the readjustment times of reunion!

I am enjoying the things of early summer with my two grandchildren. A garden of persistent weeds, but still sprouting some radishes, assorted flowers, one large cabbage, and a stalk of corn, two pumpkin plants. . OK, so I am not a farmer like my esteemed partner, but the kids are learning about the wonder of putting a seed in the ground and watching it actually sprout. Our neighbor across the street has a new puppy, who provided an hour of pure delight as the kids frolicked with this little one…kids ,puppies and summer go together!

As Paula and I work on new ideas all the time for Military Kids, some of those things are about to be put to the test. Today my husband and I took the two kiddos to the movies…Up, is absolutely wonderful and if you can take your kids I highly recommend it..(I became teary at about three intervals) anyhow, on the way home my granddaughter says, what can we put in our Homecoming Box so that Daddy will know we saw Up ? I, handed each child the ticket stubs and they were thrilled that I had not forgotten. On the way home from church, Devon wanted to remember a story she had heard and wants to tell Daddy, so we thought of something to put in the box to remind her of this. So..it works! Our kids think even before thay are reminded, that the box is a special gift, and that Daddy will soon be home to enjoy the contents.

We have only three weeks left before Daddy comes home. Three more weeks of preparing our hearts to welcome him for a quick 15 days. The hardest part is that since this is not the real Homecoming, but a leave, we have to say goodbye again. I have noticed that the kids are looking forward to the day he gets home, but are also on an emotional roller coaster. Tears are the needed outlet at times and we have to adjust to that.

Landen runs around with his squirt gun getting bad guys, and telling me that when he is a Daddy, he will join the Army with his Daddy. He is four. This is how I know his mind is focused on his Daddy’s returning. I too am looking forward and preparing for the day he comes home. My focus on hanging the banner I got , declaring to the neighborhood that our hero has returned home.

I wanted to share with you a new tool Paula and I created, to give a view of the family in transition. A mobile is such a great picture of what it is like to go through the ups and downs of deployment and reunion!

We Used the We Serve Too! characters

to illustrate the family. The mobile sways and dips as things are added or taken away (much like real life). It takes time to regain balance ,and to allow things to settle into a routine that works.

The good news is, all that feeling of unbalance is normal, and when we realize that it takes time, and adjustments (sometimes a very small adjustment ) to rebalance things, it gives us both hope and encouragement to see it through.

One important thing we wanted to express in our mobile, was leaving space for the family member who deploys. This we illustrated this way:There is an empty place, but there is still a presence there. One we suggest not be filled with other things. The danger is, that in our loneliness and need to get on with life, we fill the space, making it difficult for the person who is returning to fit in. To keep this space takes an awareness that it needs to be preserved.

The rest of the mobile is filled with the things of life: parents , friends, lessons, meals, finances, pets, errands, and yes…sleep!

We discuss things that can wait, things that can be taken off, or added (such as support through FRG’s, friends etc..) to make life balance again. If you look closely you will see there is an anchor at the bottom of our mobile. The mobile will work even without the anchor, but is much less stable. Though the mobile may still sway and dip, it is still better balanced with it than without it.

The anchor is what you believe. The thing that is bigger than you are. It transcends your circumstances and gives you a rock to stand on. It is the thing you base you life on. It encompasses the things that you want to pass on to your children. The faith that there is more than just ourselves. We hope you have such an anchor. If you don’t, we hope you will seek diligently with all your heart for what that is. Seek what is true and what is important. When you find that anchor, you will find the priorities will be easier to define, and life will have a new stability.

We hope that this analogy of family life during deployment and reunion will be of comfort to those of you facing these times. That you will be able to balance and re-balance each and every time!

Some days Paula and I get to really see why we wanted to write books for Military children. Those are the days we get the blessing of spending time with the kids! On Tuesday, we travled to Ft. Carson, Colorado to read our books to four classes of preschoolers at the Beacon School. We had so much fun!

These children were engaged, polite and of course ,adorable. We loved reading to them and asking them questions. If you have ever been around preschoolers, you know they are very interested in anything new, and Paula and I had been introduced as real authors/illustrators.

I asked the kids in our afternoon group, “who can tell me what deployment means?” Preschoolers are a bit unprecitable, and I was not sure what the answer would be, these kids live on base and many have parents who are deployed . At first no hands went up, then a little boy raised his hand and said: “It’s when your Mom takes you to the doctor”….Ohhh, an APPOINTMENT…yeah that does sound the same! We then explained that deployment is when dad or mom has to go away to work for while…Oh, OK.

We read the stories and sang our song “The Creed of a Soldiers Child. Then becasue sitting still is not a preschoolers best thing, we sang and marched together.

A big Thank You Salute to Charoltte Nal who invited us to visit, and has been so encouraging to us in regard to our books. Also to the dedicated teachers who allowed us the time to be with the children they get to enjoy every day. Thank you to Mike Neustedter who took the photos of us with the kids to document our visit. Lastly, a thank you salute, to each of the little ones to whom our books are written.

Paula and I love this part of our adventure in books, meeting the wonderful people who serve too, those who support our troops and their families as they serve our nation. Thank you Beacon School for a wonderful day!

Paula and I and our small team, (the two of us, Ramona Baker and Beth Johnson), had a fabulous time in Wyoming last week!

We had the privilege of spending two days with 11 military kids at Warren AFB . One part of our program, consisted of preparing and making the Homecoming Boxes. We have a game we play with the Homecoming Box Paula and I have made. Inside are 15 items, and as the kids pull out the items that remind us of stories, then we tell them. After a day and a half, the kids still could recite every item that had been in our Box, and the story that went with them. Just goes to show that the Homecoming Box is a great tool to keep those memories alive. The memories will be even more meaningful, when they belong to them!

We also watched the DVD of the first book, and read the second book to the kids. We learned that age is of no real consequence with the We Serve Too! series. Even our oldest kids, age 12, loved and responded to the books, and the conversations about the content.

Our program ran 6 hours, and the kids loved every minute. At one point we showed them how a book was made (” a behind the scenes”, one child said) and then they did what we call “The Book Game” and created and book of their own complete with “blurbs” written by other children in the group.

Each child received a copy both We Serve Too! A Child’s Deployment Book, and a copy of We Serve Too!2 A Child’s Reunion Book. The parents received a Parent Pack: a copy of the Parent Guide for each book, directions to make The Homecoming Box , Tear Bottle, a sample copy of the Sticker Packs and some website information.

We had so much fun, and really enjoyed the wonderful kids we were with. Our best compliment came from one young man, age 11, who turned and said “I sure hope this program is here for my kids!”

Well, you can’t get a better review than that !

Thank you so much, to Denise Rampolla , Robin Gorsuch, and Bill Breckenridge, for inviting us!

I am posting the photos of a couple of the children’s finished Homecoming Boxes, pending permission to post the photos of the children at our Wyoming National Guard Weekend.

We finally have it in our hands, and it is everything we had hoped it would be!

It is vibrant in color,  is of good quality ,and we are really proud to offer it to the Military Families whose children serve too!

This book is also good for those civilian children as well, who also have hard times missing parents, or coping with difficult feelings.  I will be writing soon about this past weekend, when we were invited to present a program to children at Warren AFB in Wyoming. We met some wonderful kids there. We learned alot of things. One thing was that even older children, age 12, loved the books. This  confirmed what we had hoped… that the whole family can relate to our simple stories, and that it is a catalyst for family conversations.

I can’t wait to post some pictures of our adventures with books, Homecoming Boxes, and all that went into a wonderful weekend! Right now though, we are celebrating our new release, and are thrilled with the reponses we are getting!

The Tear Bottle is the creation of my friend and partner Paula Johnson. It is a special addition to our Homecoming Box and something that can be used by parents as they deal with the tears that are an expected part of deployment (and life).

Here’s how it works:

The Homecoming Box is a special box a child can use to collect symbols and tokens of things they do while their parent is deployed. These items remind and comfort. Later, things can be taken out and stories told to share with Daddy .Not only does this save some of the little milestones of life, but also is something tangible that child can do, as the family thinks of what would make the best reminder.

Here is where The Tear Bottle comes in. There will be sad times as a parent is deployed. There will be times that a child really wants the parent there. At these times, a child can pick out one of the sparkly “tears”, write a reminder of what brought those tears, and put them in the Homecoming Box. When the parent returns home, and each item is taken out of the box and the event explained, once is awhile the “tears” will come out. After the tears are talked about, they go into the Tear Bottle.

The Tear Bottle becomes a vehicle to heal, by placing the sorrows in their special place. This frees the stories of the Homecoming Box to be those happy times.

Sadness and tears are part of a child’s life. Sometimes in childhood, tears come for reasons as varied as the fact that you did not buy the right kind of Mac and Cheese, to the sorrow that Daddy missed the preschool play. You, as the parent decide what is worthy of the tear bottle. Be sensitive to a child’s point of view, the loss of a favorite teddy or doll may very well be important enough to get a “tear”. Maybe you have a day when a you need a tear for the bottle as well. Use it, change it, adapt it , to work in the ways best for your family.

(complete directions for making the Homecoming Box and the Tear Bottle with your family will soon be on our parent page as a free download)